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aValaNcHe_nEtH
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Name: Kenneth
Country: Malaysia
Birthday: 7/9/1983
Gender: Male
Interests: Sports, music, anything to do with laughter......
Expertise: Sleeping and waking up late, eating, and killing time by doing unbenificial things...... (does xanga count? =P)
Occupation: Student
Industry: Entertainment
Message: message me
MSN: nethlim@hotmail.com
Member Since:
12/24/2004
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| Its been too long since my last entry... Well, lets make this my last for the blog. Not that anyone is gonna read anyway... Thanks to one particular alligator out there that made me realize that this is still a part of my life i shouldn't erase no matter what. Part of a memory i have to treasure at the least... I guess theres just too much to comprehend but too little words to explain. Life revolves around in a mysterious way. There's always its ups and downs. I've learnt that logic and reason are never easy to understand. But only that when you learn and start to truly love, all of the logical reasons fall into place.
Questions and riddles keep roaming in my mind. I, unfortunately found out too late the answers to all these questions. How? What? Why? Who? Where? It made me believe that "Sometimes... questions are stronger than answers." Past mistakes are always realized way too late in the future, maybe thats how it is intended to be...
I never considered myself to be good nor bad in person... I by now, still don't think i am a good son or brother in anyway.... I have chosen this path and am now walking it... Though it may be long and uncertain, its still the path i chose. As long as those around me (and those that aren't) are happy... Why not... for the greater good.
I haven't regretted the decisions i made.... but there isn't a thing in the world i won't give... to right the wrongs i did in the past.
Finally, i feel stillness of heart...
FIN.
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| Day 1: Didnt get any sleep at all last night... Lazed in my bed for the whole morning and afternoon just thinking and doing apparently nothing. The occasional checking of my msn dint seem to brighten my day one little bit. The silence is so unbearable... Staring at my phone dint do me any good either. I'm lost... I want to call you... I want to listen to your voice... I want to right my wrongs...
Finally i went out and have a little drink with my friends... They were quick to know that something has happen. Questions and queries filled thier mouths. But i just kept silent... I wasnt paying attention to what they were saying... I cudnt. My mind was somewhere else... I cud only conclude that if i wanted something so badly, i would have to give my all and fight for it. I just had to call you... I just had to...
Rushing home with only you in my mind, i dialled the only 10 digits that my fingers could remember... My heart was racing, i was anticipating... You answered the phone the way i expected you to answer it... Without lifting it up... Sadly, i went to my room. I checked my msn.
It was then when i saw your personal message...
Things cudnt have gotten any worse than that...
To you it must have been i only called you when i saw your msg... That was my breaking point...
Its amazing what silence can do to my heart...
I cant take it anymore...
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| Its been 2 months and 3 days since my whole world changed... It has been an experience that i would cherish and treasure for as long as i would breathe...
Yo all!!! sashibori dono... Long time no see eh? Sorry for making you guys anticipate and wait for my update. Didnt really think any of you would visit my blog anymore actually, but its about time i fill in all of you about what has happen lately in my life... Finished my exams on early December actually... not really satisfied with my performance though. Should have done earlier peperations as always, but yea... Its my habit to be lazy as usual. Whats new eh? 
Main highlight of my update of course is on Christmas and the New Year. Well, I celebrated my christmas with a special princess that has lighten up my life. Ate my christmas eve dinner with her family on the 24th. Then later had the X'mas countdown at bing! or halfway there.  Those present were the old e2k members. Sorry for not making it there in time guys... I owe you one.
Santa and his friendly helper? NOT!!!
Christmas day one its own was a whole new experience for me. After alot of planning and discussions were made, me and Edwina had our long-awaited 1st Christmas dinner at:
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Oregano
Flavourz-
Italiano
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The Junk
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Carvery
Needless to say... the food was fantastic.We both personally liked the lamb chop, rib-eye steak, mussels, salmon... (Actually all that were served were very mouth appetizing...  ) But the turkey was simply out of this world... *Yum*
Omg... Thanks Carvery for making an unforgettable night. 
After dinner came present exchanging time... What we got for each other wasnt really a surprise anymore as both of us couldnt wait for Christmas night. We already roughly knew what was given to each other about one week before Christmas. So much for self-control eh?  Nonetheless, we made each other presents. Yes, you heard (or rather read) me right. Made. Edwina made me a photo album which was personally hand made. It really meant alot to me. Thanks. Its really beautiful. 
I, on the other hand... ermmm. am not so good with handicraft.  I made a Christmas card/CD thingy which errrmmm... wasnt really as fantastic as the photo album. 
Lovely isnt it...
Sorry... will try harder next time...
One week later came New Years Day. Finally it was time to say good bye to 2005 and welcome 2006. Time flies by very fast... especially when your having fun. 2005 was filled with both happiness and sadness, ups and downs. But I'm glad that my end of 2005 was filled with excitement and joy, thanks to you know who... I know i've said this before but i'll say it again... I appreciate all that you've done...
Travillion was packed with people on New Years Eve. Met up with Micheal, Jennifer, Boon Ping and Jeremey at Mumbo King before 12. Eventually, Spencer and the rest of the gang showed up and we welcomed 2006 with open arms. I've made up my resolutions for 2006 and hopefully i will fulfill it... They are:
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Try to be more
hardworking in my studies...(I think I’ll pass on this since it has been my
resolution since 7-8 years ago…)
Try to be more responsible in everything i do... Try to be more sensitive... - Try to save more rather than spend more..
- Try to give 101% in everything i do...
(Was actually hoping to write try to find a cure for AIDS and cancer...)
Anyway, regardless of what my resolutions are, the main thing is that we all try to focus and improve ourselves for this up-coming year. Hope all of you guys achieve your resolutions and have a fruitful, enjoyable and interesting year. I know i will...
MERRY CHRISTMAS AND A HAPPY NEW YEAR!!!
Dreams are what we live for in life and you have been my dream come true...Thanks for being my everything...
5 January 2006
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| Everything happened in an instant. i suddenly found myself alone... everything was dark and blurry... i cudnt focus nor concentrate... but out of the darkness i saw this small light shining in front of me, where it leads to i dont know, how the path goes i cant see, how this path ends, im uncertain... But defenitely i know its a path worth taking... and i want to risk it all for this path, no matter the cost it will bear......
Out from a distance i could see a small spectrum of colors emitting from this light... it was a rainbow. many questions run thru my mind... i want to know what each color means to that rainbow... how each color is made... what makes it shine... what makes it disappear... but all i know is... i want to keep on seeing that rainbow shine forever...
my legs are weary, my mind is tired.. but i will go til the end of this path regardless of it may take...
Cause i know that it is worth it all...... | | |
| Not really in da mood for blogging tonight, but why am i here? dont really know either... So wads new in my life? lots of things. and they happen real fast. but when things happen for me, shit comes along the way and messes everything up! how many times has it been, when i finally clawed my way up one mountain juz to find 10 more mountains on the way and each one higher then the next. i've come to the point where i feel that "why bother" since shit will juz come out of nowhere and cut of my life line and i'll end up where i started... sometimes even before that...
i wake up everyday, telling myself that i can make this happen... im in control of my own life, but now that part of me is missing. i juz cant find it in me anymore. im sick of trying anymore... the higher i climb, the heavier i will fall... and i think i hav climbed too high, and i juz cant fall down anymore.. i really cant... somone lend me a parachute pls...theres sadness behind every smile and im tired of smiling...
i can...... | | |
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